


this just should not be happening

by sunflowerbright



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-27 02:43:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/657187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowerbright/pseuds/sunflowerbright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor may have gotten a bit more of Donna's personality than first anticipated...</p>
            </blockquote>





	this just should not be happening

This just should not be happening.

”Doctor…” Okay, so maybe she was practically shouting now, and banging on the bathroom door, but _seriously._

”What?” came the indignant reply, and really, _she could see the steam coming out from under the door now_.

”Doctor…” Rose sighed. ”Get. Out. Of. There…. Now!”

”But I’m not done!”

”You’ve been in there for two hours!”

Silence. Then the door opened and he cautiously peeked out. Or well, she _supposed_ he cautiously peeked out, because really, the steam was so thick and heavy it was more of a fog and if she was going to be blinded permanently because he had been fiddling with the sonic trying to do something to the density of it then she was going to _kill_ him, after she’d murdered him for using all the hot water of course…

”No more long showers,” she told him (or the slightly darker part of the steam that she presumed was him).

“But…”

“ _No more long showers!”_

“… Fine.”

 

oOo

 

It wasn’t exactly a secret that the last Time Lord of Gallifrey and Jackie Tyler’s relationship was a mixture of ups-and-downs (but mostly downs), of slaps and kisses (but mostly slaps) and fights and agreements (but mostly fights).

Which was why Rose was currently standing in the doorway, pinching herself in the arm. And then pinching herself again, and there was going to be a bruise now, so she casually poked the bruise too, just for good measure and this…

This was just too surreal.

“I refuse to believe it,” the Doctor giggled – _giggled –_ leaning further down over the glossy, colour-full magazine on the table. “She would never wear that of her own volition. Look at her Jacks – _she’s pregnant_.”

“She’s just fat,” Jackie said with a dismissive hand-wave. “Who’s gonna knock her up anyway? Certainly not that boyfriend of hers, he’s as gay as the sun is bright.”

“Is not!” the Doctor muttered. “He dated _Madonna!”_

Jackie snorted. “I stand corrected.”

And then they _both burst into giggles._

Rose banged her head against the door-way. She still didn’t wake up.

 

oOo

 

The Torchwood on Pete’s Earth was like everything that the Torchwood on her Earth had the potential to have been, but had failed to. To be fair, it probably helped that aliens were public knowledge by now, and Rose figured that having to lie about your job and run around retconning everyone all the time did weird things to your morale, so really, being out in the open did make less room for being morally deficient.

Not that that stopped everyone.

But, Rose figured, that was what the Doctor was here for.

“World domination, seriously?” his voice was just this short of whiney, looking down at their captive tied to a chair with a rather imaginative combination of duct tape and an extension cord – Rose’s idea, of course. She just hoped he didn’t get shocked or something.

Of course, that was the least of her worries right now.

“I mean, seriously!” the Doctor rambled on, fingers absently toying with the on-button of the huge weapon their little traitor had been trying to steal. “World domination – it’s getting _old,_ isn’t it? Can’t someone please come up with something new soon – it’s getting boring, defeating the same plot over and over again. You’re all just megalomaniacs waiting in line for me to defeat you, aren’t you? A bit pathetic really.” He stopped himself then, turning around to face Rose. “You see, Rosie? Still rude! Rude and now ginger!”

Rose frowned. “Doctor… no…”

“What?”

Oh, how to properly tell him this? “You aren’t… you aren’t ginger.”

His face did a weird thing, somewhere between a petulant child and a seagull crossing its eyes. “Well, I _know_ that Rose! Because nono, only the annoying genes for the Doctor. None of that splendid red hair, nono, just the talking and the _Wizard!_ – and the obsession with those soft pillows with frills and Brad Pitt’s body…”

“ _What?”_ Rose shrieked.

“What?” their captive frowned.

“What?” the Doctor blanched, turning deep red. “Um… nothing… I mean…”

Rose wondered if, when their new TARDIS was built, she could push him out of the door in deep-space and go on adventures on her own.

 

oOo

 

Of course, in-between the too-long showers, the pedicures, the weird language, the slight tilting of accent, the spectacularly failed attempts to dye his hair and his sudden friendship with her mother, it really wasn’t always that bad.

“Doctor, give me the remote!” she hissed, eyes flashing dangerously. “ _Notting Hill_ is on and if you make me miss it..”

“But…”

“But what?”

“But you’ve seen that movie _thousands of times_. You’ve got it on _DVD_. You can see it _whenever you want.”_

“But that’s not the same as seeing it on TV!”

“Of course it is! Same screen, same everything!”

“No!”

“It’s even without the commercials!”

“I want to see it!”

“No!”

“Doctor!”

“Rose!”

She sighed, pinching her nose. _Be the adult, be the adult, you’re in a relationship with a 900-year old alien turned half-human, and for some bizarre reason, you have to be the adult…_

“Well, what is it that you so desperately need to see that’s stopping me from enjoying my favourite movie?”

The Doctor bit his lip. “… It’s the season finale of _Desperate Housewives.”_

Rose’s laughter could most likely be heard all the way to Clom. But at least there were some things they could agree on, in the end.


End file.
